You know how it goes. You open a new Word document, or even an old one, and just stare at the cursor blinking at you on the screen. You focus on it, wanting it to disappear under a wealth of words, but it remains in the same place, just blinking, unmoving. It’s like when it disappeared for the instant of a second the cursor enters a different universe… maybe one in which you’ve written a wealth of words, but for now it silently mocks you as you battle the urge to write with the not knowing exactly what to write and for what.So many ideas bounce around your head, round and round, yet the words don’t quite make it to the screen, it’s like there’s an electrical that’s been interrupted.

I think this is why I love NaNoWriMo. I’m pretty sure that I’ve written about this before, but with NaNo there’s the desire to reach 50k no matter what is involved. I’d like to be able to do something similar outside of November, and I had all these plans to write this year, and so far I’ve got nothing. I have all these little ideas when I’m out and about, and even have a little book that I jot these down in nowadays as well, but that seems to be as far as I get – the next step – the step of creating and writing – whether it’s a novel or less – doesn’t seem to materialise. It’s like I have all these creative things that I want to do – knitting, writing, sketching [which is in the early stages] reading, cross stitch… but nothing makes enough progress and I pull to a stop – and then go nowhere.

This is something I’d like to change, although how is still something of a mystery to me. I want to develop my characters – I still think of my first characters that I created “Jarren and Annabel” – and desperately want to finish their story but where do I start that process? I know that the story that I first had been very 2D, there wasn’t much in the way of character development. When I reviewed the whole story I just wasn’t sure where to start making it from a story to a decent read. My most recent stuff is more rubbish than anything else, and again, this is something that I want to change. I know that I have to start somewhere with creating a novel and characters and the lark, but I want to try. Which is more than what I am doing at the moment.

Today I test drove a brand new Fiat 500. It’s such a fun car to drive! It makes me want one more, and it is certainly something that I need to talk to my parents about first before I commit to buying something as epic. It actually works out cheaper to buy a brand new car than it is for buying a second hand car which I don’t really understand though. Watch this space!